Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sarah Vs. Delusional Memories

Preface: I believe that children are a blessing and one of the most rewarding decisions you can make in your life. This does not mean that the process for obtaining them is nine months of euphoria. Worth it? Yes. Glorious? No.

My legs hurt, my hips hurt, my back hurts, my stomach itches. I am too hot or too cold all the time, I can't reach my feet, I still have morning sickness, I have really bad heartburn, and I have to go to the bathroom every hour. I am exhausted but can't sleep (see bathroom every hour). The baby keeps alternately pinching the nerves in my legs with his head and reshuffling my ribs with his feet. If one more woman tells me that being pregnant is the most glorious experience in the world I am going to shove one of the socks I cannot get on my feet down her throat.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sarah Vs. the Telemarketer

One of the lovely ladies at the Ball State University Development offices called me to beg for our money as they do every year. Ah the Ball State Telethon... Usually I recognize the number and ignore the call as I used to work in conjunction with these ladies processing the donations they received and I remember the number. So anyways, this year I fed her a line about hard times and all, blah, blah, blah, baby on the way...

That is not the reason we don't donate to the university. The reason we don't donate is because Rob won't let us donate until Parking Services admits they were wrong and returns our $600 dollars in bogus parking fees we had to pay to get our diplomas from them. As I never see this happening, I don't know that I will ever be allowed to contribute to our beloved Alma Matter. I was, however, a little hesitant to admit this to the nice girl on the other end of the phone who I am sure had nothing to do with this grave injustice and does after all have a monetary goal to meet.

I hung up, feeling bad for lying to the girl until my phone rang again. It was the same girl, asking for Rob so she could ask him for money instead of me! As I know for a fact it lists us as married on the screen she is working from because I helped build that database, I immediately stopped feeling guilty and hung up on the little pipsqueak.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Apparently I Smell

I have noticed a very interesting little trend in the last couple months that has exponentially increased in the last couple weeks. Everywhere I go in the house I have at least one, usually two shadows. I suppose they are smelling the hormonal changes, but every time I sit down one of them jumps on my lap and rubs their faces on my belly. It is sorta weird, very funny and slightly inconvenient. Every time I stop moving I get swarmed by kitties winding around my feet, sitting on my lap or keyboard or desk or in between me and my dinner... I wonder if they will be this friendly with the baby?

Sunday, December 13, 2009


I saw a recipe for Creme de Menthe brownies a month ago that looked amazing. It took me a while to get to a liquor store to buy the necessary Creme de Menthe for the recipe so I finally got around to making them yesterday. After two failed batches of brownies, I finally found a recipe worthy of the delicious minty frosting. I frosted them, crushed Andes mints on top of them, admired how pretty they were, and prepared to eat one. No dice, the baby was not in the mood for minty deliciousness so instead I sat on the kitchen floor and cried. After more than a month of anticipation, I was too nauseous to even attempt them. Of course Rob comes home from work at that precise moment and is left trying to figure out whether I am really that upset about just brownies, the pregnancy or something else entirely. I am sure he thinks that I have lost my sanity...

After staring at the brownies all day today, I took them to work so that someone could enjoy them. Apparently they were a hit, I believe it took about ten minutes for all of them to disappear. I did break off a corner of one tonight before the last one got devoured. Wow...definite keeper recipe.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I Miss my Brain

Apparently my brain took vacation yesterday. I had to call twice to ask what time my doctor's appointment was, left the house in slippers, which are not snow appropriate footwear, then forgot to get half my grocery list at the store. I got home, started baking, added the wrong kind of nuts to the no-spit candy, forgot half the butter in the brownies, re-made them, realized the recipe was just gross, and had to throw out a whole recipe of ginger molasses cookies because the dough was too hard to work or I was too frazzled or both.

We are going to attempt the baking thing again today, hopefully my brain is well rested from its day off.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sarah vs. the Customers with No Shame

I ran across a new specimen of human last night. A lady sat down with her three children, husband and father-in-law.

Me: Ma'am your sweater still has the price tag on it. Would you like me to get that for you? (It was in the back and hard for her to reach).
Her: Oh, no, I haven't decided if I am taking it back yet.

Later in the dinner, she stopped me as I was on my way to another table with their food...

Her: Here, we are done with these ramekins, take them with you.
Me: (Showing her that my hands were full) I will be right back to get them, just let me drop off this table's food.
Her: (Trying to put them on the other table's plate) Just take them with you now.
Me: Ma'am my hands are full right now, if you will just let me set down these plates I will be right back for your dirty dishes.
Her: I will just sit them on this wall for you then.
Me: That would be better ma'am.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


I finally figured out how to get pictures from my phone to the here is Rob's pumpkin, a month and a half late but hey...

It was supposed to have fangs and horns, but he said real babies were much scarier and I am inclined to agree with him.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


December already... The really great thing about new year's resolutions is that if you aren't organized enough to remember where you put them, you can tell yourself you accomplished all of them.

Usually December is my last ditch effort to accomplish those things on my January list. Since I cannot find the January list of resolutions, I consulted the list that I made in May when we found out we were going to have a baby. So far, the only thing not done on the list in making diapers for the baby. Every part of our house has been tackled and decluttered, with the exception of the Army paperwork, which scares me. All of our half finished home improvement projects are done and the guest room has been modified for the baby. So December's projects include two baby quilts, roughly sixty cloth diapers and a pretentious, multi-course Christmas dinner.

We are not travelling this year, so my best friend and her hubby are coming up for the holiday. After chatting last night, we decided to have a really pretentious dinner with china and courses and everything, since it will be the last chance to do it without babies underfoot. This is going to be so much fun... This is somewhat of a departure from my family's Christmas pot of Chili tradition. All I know about the menu so far is we are having a cheese course, and we are not having ham. I am experimenting with homemade gelato recipes and trying to come up with some good deserts that don't have chocolate, coconut or nuts in them...maybe cannolis?