A Virtuous Woman

As I woke up this morning, I was staring at one of the most peaceful scenes I have ever seen. There is something so beautiful about the perfect sleep of a child. Their deep breathing and little smiles and the noises they make in their sleep, his little hand curled around my finger... What do they dream of I wonder? Lights, colors, our faces, heartbeats, breasts? It was the first morning in weeks he didn't appear to be in pain and I had a quiet half hour with just him, God and I.

I have been reading Proverbs 31 quite a bit lately, looking for guidance for my own life. I was always baffled by the part about her rising early before the household. I would laugh, being the quintessential 'night owl,' thinking rather that I could stay up later than everyone else to take care of the household. Even the first month of his life, I have been so tired that the thought of getting up before I actually have to seemed farfetched. This morning though, I rose early and took care of myself. I showered and dressed without constantly reassuring him that mommy just needed another minute (not that such reassurances actually stop his cries). I fed myself, read my bible and prayed without having to time it around his crying bouts. As I heard him stirring, I went to him and talked and sang with him while I washed and dressed him and as I got to him before he was in meltdown mode, we were able to do that this morning without the usually protests and indignation. Now we are into part of the day where he fusses constantly, but the night of solid sleep and being able to take care of my own needs, both physical and spiritual, has made an unmistakable difference. It is well worth one less hour of sleep. Maybe there is hope yet that I could be that woman.