Sarah Vs. the Morons (Pt. II)

I don't know why I attract these people, but I want it to stop...

I have been sick this week, so yesterday I went to the doctor.

Doctor: Please describe your symptoms
Me: I have a stuffy nose, low grade fever, sinus pain, my teeth hurt, chest congestion, coughing, sore throat and an earache on the right side.
Doctor: Why are you here?
Me: I was told high fevers were bad for the baby and it has been skirting 100 degrees. Also it has been three days, I am getting worse and cannot miss anymore work. I work in a restaurant and thought I should try to not be contagious.
Doctor: (checks my breathing, eyes, nose, throat, and one ear). What have you been taking?
Me: Sudafed and Tylenol...I thought that was all I was allowed to take over the counter.
Doctor: Well I could give you an antibiotic but I don't know if it is viral or bacterial. Which does it feel like to you?
Me: Ummm....I don't know? That's why I am here.
Doctor: Well which is it usually? Do antibiotics usually help you?
Me: Depends on whether it is viral or not...I usually can take other over the counter drugs, but I was worried about the fever with the baby and Tylenol is not doing anything.
Doctor: Well I really don't know what to tell you...does it feel like Sinusitis?
Me: You are the doctor, you tell me...
Doctor: What do you want me to do?
Me: Tell you what, you give me antibiotics, if it is viral, I will be in the same situation I was in. If it is even partially bacterial, the antibiotics will help.
Doctor: Well I will give you Amoxicillin
Me: I am immune to Amoxicillin
Doctor: Well I know that one is safe with pregnancy
Me: Well there is no point in me taking it...it won't do any good.
Doctor: What other ones are safe with pregnancy?
Me: I don't know, this is a doctor's office, surely there is a list of that sort of thing around here somewhere
Doctor: Well what did we give you last time?
Me: You have my chart in front of you, why don't you look? And last time I wasn't pregnant so you will still have to check and see if it is safe for the baby.
Doctor: Cephelexin...hmmm...do you know if that is one of the safe ones?
Me: ????? Why don't you look it up?
Doctor: Oh, I guess I will go look it up then...are you sure you don't want amoxicillin?
Me: Please just check the list....
Doctor: Oh, turns out it is just as safe as the Amoxicillin.
Me: Can I go now?

I go to this doctor's office all the time and usually they are quite competent...I think I should have gone to med school after all...but really, asking me to diagnose myself bacterial or viral? Asking me what to prescribe? What is safe when she has my history and the Internet at her fingertips?